The Many Shades of Suffering: What It Cost Me to Grow is a 32-page digital resource created for servant leaders in ministry who are burned out, misaligned — and don't yet have language for their experiences.
Written by Lamyia J. Crawford (Prophet/Pastor/Strategist/Founder), it is a firsthand look at moral failure, ministry burnout, undiagnosed mental illness, broken relationships, a one-year sabbatical, and rebuilding identity from the inside-out.
In these pages, I name 7 different shades of suffering that leaders live but rarely share publicly:
Suffering caused by a leader's own actions (rooted in lack of development, rather than recklessness)
The "pioneer's tax" (what it costs to be the First without guidance)
Erosion of worth due to years of placing value elsewhere
Inherited suffering (as a result of incomplete development across generations)
On purpose sufferings that aren't meant to build anointing but develop Christ-likeness
Excessive and unneeded sufferings (due to being stretched too thin and/or misaligned)
Transitional sufferings — the cost of obtaining what God promised
This book identifies what you may be silently experiencing and provides you a lens for understanding your own suffering that neither a pulpit nor a counseling office likely has provided you yet.
It is a weigh station — and you have been carrying more weight than you were made to bear on your own.
Download it. Read it. Allow it to do its work.